The Inner Judge

Parshas Shoftim

It's been an interesting few weeks.

Mostly slowing down to the tune of the seasons (the actual season of fall, not the mad dash September and the weeks leading up to it have become in our world.) But also, of course, coming up against the bigger transitions of this time of year as the metaphorical leaves begin to shed. 

My son is starting cheder this week, and getting his first haircut soon, and I don't know yet how I feel about it, but we're here for the ride. My older boys are talking about the different gemaras they'll need for this year, and I'm wondering if time likes to play games, moving sometimes faster and sometimes slower than we imagine.

But these last few parshas of the Torah reading cycle are really special. Especially when read through feminine eyes.

They're all about return to truth.

To our essence and deep inner knowing.

Aligned, of course, with this time of year, as Elul leads us home.

So what of Shoftim? The Judges? 

Two things struck out at me that actually have much in common.

 וַיֵּ֗לֶךְ וַיַּֽעֲבֹד֙ אֱלֹהִ֣ים אֲחֵרִ֔ים וַיִּשְׁתַּ֖חוּ לָהֶ֑ם וְלַשֶּׁ֣מֶשׁ | א֣וֹ לַיָּרֵ֗חַ א֛וֹ לְכָל־צְבָ֥א הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם אֲשֶׁ֥ר לֹֽא־צִוִּֽיתִי

...and who will go and worship other gods and prostrate himself before them, or to the sun, the moon, or any of the host of the heavens...

(Devarim 17:3)

So much of the work we do can be made into an end rather than the means. Especially as we understand our cycles as our inner source of wisdom as women. The more we connect, the more we realize it's the vitality of G-d literally flowing through us.

How often do you look up in the night sky to marvel at the moon's striking radiance? When we're not conscious of a unifying Force at the root of all, guiding all, it's not unheard of to get stuck on the surface. On the external expression or symptom of a deeper essence. 

Can we see beyond? Can we get to the root of it all? Like Avraham recognized something beyond the sun, the moon, and the stars?

This is what Shoftim is really asking.

Can we judge what's real?

In a world that's full of distractions, can we hear the call of our heart? Of our soul?

Which leads right into the second point that intrigued me.

נָבִ֨יא אָקִ֥ים לָהֶ֛ם מִקֶּ֥רֶב אֲחֵיהֶ֖ם...אַ֣ךְ הַנָּבִ֡יא אֲשֶׁ֣ר יָזִיד֩ לְדַבֵּ֨ר דָּבָ֜ר בְּשֵׁ֖ם אֱלֹהִ֣ים אֲחֵרִ֑ים

I will set up a prophet for them from among their brothers...But the prophet who intentionally speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die.

(Devarim 18:18-20)

How do we really know if someone's legit? You can't really. Someone could be saying all the right things. But how do we know what's in their heart? What's truly aligned for them? Are they serving a Higher Calling?

Judgment came to mean something negative. But with less than a month to the Day of Judgment, perhaps we can we see it differently. What if it's discernment? Can you tap into the truth? What moves in your body when something feels right? Is it a flutter? A deep sense of calm and peace?

And when something feels wrong? Do you feel something tighten? Something stiff and closed up? A sense of weakening?

Listen to the wisdom inside of you. Let her be the judge.

Pessy